TWO MINUTES WITH THE DEVIL
By Matt Micheli
Matt is an instant buy author for me after reading his short story (novella?) WHITE. So when he was asked if I wanted to check this one out, I tried to be professional but it ended up being a “fuck yeah”.
Kids are missing and no one knows why. Is it the devil? Is it a serial killer? Max, Fred, Michael, Alice, and Phillip become a part of the evil happenings in the town whether they want to or not.
Matt did it again. He made me a part of this universe with his writing and I was not prepared for the journey. Also, can I talk about something. I don’t give two shits about animals in books. Normally, they are used as a manipulation device and guess what, this bitch can’t be manipulated… until this story. While I didn’t cry, I did say out loud, “you dickbag”. That’s what Micheli does, he makes you forget you are in a story and just watching the events.
I don’t like it one bit. I like it lots of bits, the dickbag. Playing on nostalgia from the 80s, urban legends, and monsters that are not always made up, he has a winner with this one. Fast paced, edge of your seat suspense, and twist after twist makes this a HIGHLY RECOMMEND. 10/5.
SIRENS AND SEAWEED
By Candace Nola
Captain Black Hammer (nicknamed for his weapon of choice) is in charge of the Silent Seaweed. When a violent storm partially destroys the ship and leaves the Captain with a bonk on the head, the crew is veered off course but near land. Old memories come back to haunt ol’ Black Hammer and the Sirens are there to remind him.
53 pages. That’s how long this story is and Nola writes as though it’s 300 (I wish it was). The story starts off with Pip, the 11 year old cabin boy being seasick and ends with absolute depravity. The dreary, oppressive atmosphere that she weaves with the beauty of the Sirens is astounding. And all within 10 days!
A historical throwback to some land loving pirates, add in some vengeful Sirens, and you have a short read packed with blood, guts, and so much more. I have loved everything I have read of hers but this shows her talent in so many different ways. Although, I will never forgive her for Davey. NEVER! But I still HIGHLY RECOMMEND this one… even if it’s out of spite. 10/5.
THE WORLD BENEATH
By Chisto Healy
This is my first by Chisto and I can promise it won’t be the last.
Taylor and Sarah go missing after they dive down into a black hole in the sea. When Sarah’s dad, Mom, fiancé, and a friend go in search for them, the sea holds more than secrets. In a fight for their lives, creatures, caves, and the dark unknown will make it difficult to reach the surface.
This story was all over the place… but stay with me, friends. Imagine a fish - zip, zip, zip, and your eyes are ping ponging back and forth to keep up, that’s WORLD BENEATH and it freaking worked! It worked perfectly. Healy masterfully keeps the reader in the action while simultaneously making you question every dark spot and every corner in the story.
Creepy, unnerving, and claustrophobic. HIGHLY RECOMMEND 10/5.
HOW THE SKIN SHEDS
By Chad Lutzke
Let’s just get into it.
Garrett visits his sister, Diane and niece, Nadine but unfortunately Garrett walks into a bloodbath. While on the trail for his sister’s killer, he enlists Franklin, a recently freed slave and his revenge seeking, albino niece. Will the trio find the killer or will they be added to the victim count?
Lutzke knocks this out of the gotdamn park. Writing characters with depth, relatable flaws, and a vengeance unlike many others I read, this is top in the Splatterwestern series. There wasn’t a lull in the story and the reader is intent on finding out the resolution as much as the characters are. I have read a few by Chad and this is, by far, his best.
I do have to point out my favorite character, Franklin. I mean, the man obtains his freedom from being a slave only to become a slave to an insane fate. Always having a witty or positive comment, Franklin is this story even though he’s meant to be a supporting character.
Definitely a must read and a HIGHLY RECOMMEND from this Splatterwestern loving fangirl. 10/5
By Eve L. Fell
I’m calling it now, Eve is going to be the new IT girl. Mark it on your calendars so you can remind yourself I was right. Do it now. I will wait.
Sarah and Lindsey think a night on the town is just what the doctor ordered. But the roofie is the least of their worries as they wake up in a warehouse where the game is to survive, by any means possible. Secrets are revealed and blood is spilled in this insane debut.
OK. Look. I devoured this book so damn fast. The suspense is top freaking notch, characters perfection, and the plot is so quick you get whiplash because of all the twists and turns (and not just from the maze). Fell ain’t playing with us or holding back and I’m here for anything this woman has in store for us.
As a Top Ten for 2023 (oh, yeah, it’s that flipping good), it’s a no-brainer that’s it’s a HIGHLY RECOMMEND. 10/5.
TO STARE DEATH IN THE EYES
By Eric Butler
Another Splatterwestern! I’m as shook as you are.
Irving Fountaine feels guilty about leaving seven settlers on their own but comes back to only six… dead. Someone has taken his love, Sarah, and he is on a war path for her. When he meets Annabelle they go in search of her sister too. Old ghosts come back to haunt Irving and not everyone will get their happy ending.
Butler rocked my socks off with this one! Full on brutality and blood everywhere plus a bit of body horror and creature banging, makes this one a must read.
I really hope to see more like this from Eric because this was amazing! RECOMMEND. 5/5.
Bleeding Rainbows and Other Broken Spectrums
By Maxwell I. Gold
I love poetry (I know, it’s a shock to most) and one with a cover like that? Please, stick in literary fork in me, I’m done.
Gold intertwines his soul with the reader's for journeys through forbidden love, interstellar truths, and erotic impulses while bewitching our senses with BLEEDING RAINBOWS AND OTHER BROKEN SPECTRUMS. And my God, was I ready for it.
Below are some of the lines I HAVE to share, I mean come on with these!
“I lost my body, destroyed/Myself in a bed that became my grave…”
“… this ancient sensation drenched in guttural pleasures, moaning with erotic blasphemies as stars made love with daemons in the dark.”
(HOLY SHIT, RIGHT?!)
“Nothing is ever what it seems, though through the rose-colored nights and cheap, blended colognes, I felt the warmth of someday caress the welts on my shoulders, black eyes, and bruised dreams of self-worth.”
(MAKE ME WEEP, WHY DON’T YOU?)
Each poem is a kaleidoscope of emotion and eventual redemption that will leave the reader breathless. And I would be remiss to not mention the stunning formatting. The full color artwork is beautiful AND erotic (penises galore!) and the page edging is spectacular.
You can tell there was thought, love, and many tears involved in something so perfect. I am 100% obsessed with this book and I know you will be too. HIGHLY RECOMMEND 10/5.
Shop Til You Drop
By Kelvin V. A. Allison
When I saw in February that Allison was writing this, I squealed. I LOVE retail store stories (see my obsession with THE NIGHT STOCKERS by Triana and Harding). So I was ready… then he took his sweet freaking time writing. But never fear!, I promise it was worth the wait.
Neve, Scooter, and David have some customers that just make life miserable in their retail jobs. When a chance meeting gives them the golden ticket for some pay back, it’s not at all what they expected. With a cast of depraved and sinister misfits ready to dole out karma, no one is safe from their comeuppance.
Well, well, well, Mr. Allison you know how to build a rollercoaster of insanity! This is a wild ride, friends. Just when you think you have it figured out… nope. And kills are so fucking brutal. Meat cleavers, cheese graters (uggggh), and meat slicers are utilized in nefarious ways.
But what really got me was how the reader latches on to certain characters. Did I send a hateful message after one particular scene? Yes. Do I regret it? Never.
SHOP TIL YOU DROP is such a fun and quick story. SUPER DUPER RECOMMEND 10/5.
Last Of The Ravagers
By Bryan Smith
Oh, Mr. Smith, you got me with this one. This is my third by Bryan and by far my favorite to date (ignore my recent bias tendencies.)
Snakebite is just a classic western town until it becomes ground zero for a showdown with an inter-dimensional necromancer. Well, then all bets are off.
Guys, this one rocked my socks off! It was sci-fi, western, SMUT (I will get back to that because this man can write some of the hottest sex scenes), splatter, and a bit of romance. And somehow, some way, it all works and works perfectly. I have read almost all of the available Splatterwesterns and I would put this in my Top 2 of the series.
Let’s get back to the smut. Here’s all I will say: zombie/human lesbian finger play. You’re welcome. Now go buy it.
I can see why this is up for a Splatterpunk Award this year. And while the competition is fierce in the novel category, I can see this one coming out on top. We shall all see come August! HIGHLY RECOMMEND 10/5.
By Wrath James White
Oh look, it’s a character I absolutely loathe… Fucking Dale.
Dale has a gift. He thinks it’s from God but anyone else knows it’s from Satan. When Dale becomes obsessed with his neighbor, things get rape-y. Real rape-y. Can Sarah and Josh prove that Dale is not the wimp he pretends to be or will they end up falling apart?
I don’t know how Wrath does it. He makes me hate a character so much that I beg the literary Gods to kill them off. THE RESURRECTIONIST is fucking intense and stress causing. There are so many twists and turns you have to hold on for dear life not to get thrown off.
Did I love this book? Yes. Did I cuss Wrath? Yes, and I’ll do it again, ha.
HIGHLY RECOMMEND. 4.5/5.
By Glenn Rolfe
Glenn posted about this 2014 collection of short stories and I’m like, “Yes, yes I give this bad boy a whirl.” And I’m so damn glad I did! Let’s look at each story individually.
Skull of Snakes - A cursed coin makes one young boy’s life very difficult… and lonely. (Emotional damage alert.)
Sweet 16 - This boyfriend may be older but he ain’t wiser. Also, if he can’t have her, well, there isn’t another choice.
Jackie Boy - Jackie has a hankering for something not so common and no one is going to narc him out.
The Curse - Coaches aren’t always looking out for the best interest of their athletes but the past will always find them.
The Delicious Death of Parker Stevens - Creepy, crawly, and dark this one is a mindfreak and a half. Also, I hate the woods, just saying.
I’m in Here - Two words: emotional damage.
Henry - Sometimes our idea of self-beauty isn’t worth the pain. (This one stings the ol’ emotions.)
Something Lost - sometimes we don’t know what we have until it’s gone.
Ballad of the Best-Selling Author - What happens when your disdain of zombie literature goes too far.
Candle Magic - a writer’s ritual explained.
Flaws - Dennis realizes he has a flaw. Unfortunately, so do some others but too late. (My favorite of the collection.)
Halloween Worm - What happens when your bully actually needs your help to defeat an evil? This story will tell you.
I don’t care this collection is almost ten years old. What I do care about is that you read them. Rolfe has a way of pulling you in and not letting go. I went through this collection in one sitting; I couldn’t stop reading! This is my first but I have others by him so prepare for an author binge!
I suggest picking SLUSH up immediately. A HIGHLY recommend. 10/5.
By DE McCluskey
Friends, this is going to be a top novel for many in the community, I just know it. From the opening chapter to the last, McCluskey keeps us on the edge and anxious as hell.
Lisa has the perfect boyfriend, Sean. Her parents love him, she loves him and she’s ready to give him something that can be given once. But sadly, things do not go as she expected.
THE BOYFRIEND is not for the faint of heart. It’s a difficult book to read because it’s every parent’s worst nightmare. McCluskey takes that fear and forces the reader to not only face it but to face it brutally. And I have to mention the whiplash it causes. Just when you think you have figured it out, you don’t.
I have read a lot by DE from his children’s novels and graphic novels, to his splatter books and I’m here just going to say it, it’s his best to date. I cannot recommend it enough so… HIGHLY RECOMMEND. 5/5.
1000 SEVERED DICKS
By Matt Shaw & Ryan Harding
Full transparency: I was not a complete fan of this one the first time I read it. (Insert collective gasp here.) BUT! I’m a bigger fan of it the second time around. Let’s chitchat.
A man has had a rough go of life, especially from his wife, Eloisa and his best friend, Tommy. After some unsuccessful mediation that Eloisa and Tommy do not want to take part in, the man intends to set the rest of the world right or bad things will happen. When his plan hits a small kink on his last example, things get a bit confusing.
I’m not sure why this one didn’t hit the same way the first time but sweet summer children, it did this read. The pizza cutter scene is classic Harding. It’s so uncomfortable yet you can’t stop reading. 1000 SEVERED DICKS is brutal as hell so be prepared. Though I really don’t feel like I should have to warn since, you know, the title… but I will. Shaw and Harding co-author but their writing voices are so distinct you can pick out who wrote what very easily. Usually that would be a bad thing but this one just works.
An obvious HIGHLY RECOMMEND. 5/5.
THEY HIDE: Short Stories To Tell In The Dark
By Francesca Maria
Well, Francesca is now officially on my radar with this collection. Like, damn. I want to chat about my four favorites (even though there are thirteen).
The Wysterfield Murders - Goody Sarah keeps losing friends in a horrific way. When she sets out to find the cause — she finds more than she bargains for. (This has some of the most disturbing non-splatter imagery I have read in years.)
My Brother Andy - What evil wants, evil gets. Possession, loyalty, and ignorance are all prevalent in this short story. The story is complete and phenomenal, but selfishly I wanted 150 pages more. (Can I whine for a novella maybe?)
The Perfect Partner - a spicy telepathic, body suspended sex scene. Friends, you know I love smut and this one is hooooooooooot. (I didn’t reread this story in particular. *wink*)
A Game of Ghosts - A card game that plays for keeps. Maria uses journal entries and interviews for this story and it is my favorite out of the whole collection. It is creepy and oppressive. I couldn’t get enough.
Usually I go through each story but I wanted to talk about this collection as whole a bit more. The title is literal perfection. Now, I don’t want to say it took me until the sixth story for it to dawn on me the point of THEY HIDE but… it did. Sometimes I have to be hit over the head to get things (you guys will get it earlier). Francesca’s ability to scare the hell out of me and make me squirm without being splatterpunk is remarkable. Somehow, there isn’t a bad story in the collection and that fascinates me.
I could see this collection being on the Stokers ballot easily. It’s as close to perfect as a collection can get. DOUBLE HIGHLY RECOMMEND 10/5.
By Carver Pike
Carver Pike, this fucking guy…
On a military base, in Anchorage, AK, Sikes and Chapman are tasked with making sure Milo Redgrave stays locked in his cell. No way out for the two watchers as they are locked in for the night. Will the night go as every other night or will there be uninvited guests?
Carver. Every single time, this man gets me. REDGRAVE has suspense, thriller elements, some hot, HOT smut, gore, and so much more. In 80+ pages, Pike shows (again) what a powerhouse author he is.
It’s a brutal, uncomfortable story. With the characters locked in, the claustrophobia is almost immediate add on the darkness, cold, and depressing Anchorage winters (I can confirm as I live there) it makes it so much worse. It gets a bit warmer with a couple spicy scenes and then he ruins your reading life with the rest.
Am I threatening violence again? Yes. But it’s out of love. Honestly. The perfect quick read with so much more than expected.
By Mark Zirbel
Mark, I’m so sorry it took me so long to get to SHITHOLE USA. It is something else.
Zombies are fucking each other to death while the rest of the USA is eating poop. That’s right, poop. Lives converge, well, some lives and some mind projections converge to try to end the terror that is happening. Will there be a stay on poop or will shit run in the streets?
Why did I love this books so damn much?! I’m confused by it. The characters have depth and the reader becomes attached, social commentary is astounding, and the story is extremely well written. I listened to the audiobook and it was amazing. But what I loved most about this book is that Zirbel mixes writing styles. We have your typical novel, then a play section, and a video game cheat style. It all works and I’m kinda in need of more like this.
I’m officially a Zirbel fangirl and I think you will be too. Don’t let the poop scare you away. I know this is the craziest thing I have said this year (and I say some crazy stuff) but this is a top 10 read for me this year. I’m not going to try to figure it out, I’m just going to let it happen.
An obvious 10/5 for me. I HIGHLY recommend.
ENSURING YOUR PLACE IN HELL
By Otis Bateman, Stuart Bray, and Stephen Cooper
I was excited about this collection as I have become a bit obsessed with Stuart Bray and had yet to read anything from Bateman or Cooper. Let’s get into it.
Home Movies from Hell by Otis Bateman - two young men, Eric and Dylan, find that trying to make money can be fun and bloody.
Kidney Stones: An American delicacy by Stuart Bray - Mikey develops a taste for kidney stones after his curiosity get the better of him but the lengths he will go to are anything but normal.
The Golden Cumpuss by Stephen Cooper - Josie works for The Golden Cumpuss where the rich dine on… well… you will find out when you read it. When Royce finds out a specific delicacy will not be his, he begins planning an escape. But things do not go according to plan… at all.
Stephen Cooper, sir. Yes. Yes to all of your story. I was (am) completely blown away by his contribution to the collection. It was absolutely disgusting and a semi-love story and terrible diets, it really has everything. Stuart Bray yet again proves he is to be taken seriously in this community as he is amazing at knowing how to turn a stomach or two. Bateman, unfortunately missed the mark for me with his story but some may absolutely love it.
Hillbillies & Homicidal Maniacs
By Stuart Bray & Jason Nickey
I am a Nickey and Bray stan. Separately these two can do no wrong in my eyes but together, wowzer! There are six stories in their first collaboration and I hope for our sake this isn’t the only one they do.
Pond Scum (Nickey) - Merle just wants to hunt… but not for anyone —- or anything else. Sadly, to make his life easier, he must.
Fucking. Redneck. Trash (Bray) - Curtis thinks he can hide from his past in a podunk town and treat people as he chooses. Neither are true and he will suffer the consequences. (Favorite of Bray’s in the collection).
Did You Pay The Power Bill (Nickey) - A bit of compassion and understanding can go a long way… from you dying. (Nickey’s best to date.)
Tree Meat (Bray) - Marshal likes backyard brawls until Jeb and Desmond show up and cause a problem or two.
Be Kind Rewind (Nickey) - Be nice to people - especially strangers and old school friends or they may just seek out justice. Maybe even a woman to build an army.
Disjointed (Bray) - A journey through Spencer’s troubled childhood.
A quick, insane read from the first story to the last. Absolutely stellar and a must read. 10/5.
Kin of the Fallen
By Carver Pike
I want to start this review out that I adore Carver, he’s a kind soul in a sometimes dark community BUT that does not save him from my wrath and friends, he deserves it for this one.
Bailey and her fellow motorcycle club members are a rare breed, they have all been personally affected by a loved one’s murder. Banding together, they find solace in each other and begin to heal. Until one day, they begin to get picked off one by one. Who is out for blood and who will survive?
OK. Now it’s time for my wrath. KotF solidified my love for slashers but with slashers, no one is safe, right? Especially, it would seem, the characters I become attached too. Pike did one of them dirty. And I mean dirrrrrrttttyyyy. Will I sucker punch him in the left kneecap when/if I ever meet him? Yes. Then I will tell him it’s for <redacted> death. He will know and he will rue the day he wrote it.
But… on the other hand, it was so damn well written! The whole book is from beginning to end perfection. (Plus, he references a few of my personal favorite authors in the story.) Oh! And there’s hot sex scenes. One scene in particular had me in a group chat saying how spicy it was. There’s a lot of goodness in this novel and I’m here for it.
Welcome to the Top Ten of 2023, Carver. You deserve it, my friend!
(Still pissed, btw.)
Seriously, check this one out ASAP. 10/5.
By Kenzie Jennings
Ansley is not having a good time. And even worse, she’s in rehab but gets sprung for the weekend to attend her sister’s wedding. The problem is the menu is a bit more… meaty than expected. Blood will be spilled and lives lost, which side will Ansley and her family be on?
The beginning of this novel had me. I read some reviews that the first half was boring and I’m going to call bull shit. The first half was my favorite and you guys know I love my gore mixed with violence. But that first 100 pages, perfection. Then we get into the gore and debauchery. Still with you, still loving it.
I have to be honest, the ending did not work for me. At all. BUT! It does work for some. Many I talked to loved the ending so maybe it’s me.
Would I still recommend this story? Absolutely!
Jennings masterfully tells us a story that has us on the edge of our seat and the body count alone is worth the price of admission. 4/5.
The Magpie Coffin
By Wile E. Young
I went into this one blind as it was a recommendation. Being from the Splatterwestern series with Death’s Head Press, I was cautiously optimistic.
Salem is on the war path, literally. Someone has killed his mentor and he ain’t having it. With a couple of sidewinders, Jake and Ruby, tracking down the low down rascals will be anything but easy.
I was not prepared for how much I enjoyed this book! The story was perfect, the characters rich and had depth, and the gore scenes were horribly wonderful. The bison stomach scene… will live rent free in my head for life. Seriously, if you know you know.
AND the sequel is coming out in a few weeks! So I don’t have to wait long for the next installment.
(Bonus: Sean Duregger narrates this one and really brings it to life.) An easy 4.5/5.
ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES
By Jeff Strand
I am about to spoil the shit out of this book. …
… it’s about killer tomatoes. Cherry. Roma. Better boy. Campari. Big beef. All of them. It’s also about politics, the power of terrible music, and stupidity.
I will preface this review with I have not seen the movie. I thought, “You know, that doesn’t look like a movie I would be interested in. But the book, may be more my speed” and it was. Strand’s known humor is seen throughout the novel. (And fun fact: there are movie photos at the end of the ebook and I’m assuming the print copy too).
It’s insane, hysterical, and perfect. The characters are mostly throw away and I loved that for some reason. With all the tomato shenanigans, one doesn’t want to fall in love with a character just for them to be eaten.
The audiobook needs to be mentioned as well because Joe Hempel went above and beyond for it. He was super impressive and really brought the characters and action to life.
I can’t lie, I was not expecting much from a book about killer tomatoes. But I was pleasantly knocked off my fancy tomato pedestal of snobbery. Unless something REALLY amazing comes along, this will get the funniest book of the year for me.
Maybe. Probably. *wink*
You need this in your life. I’m going to tell my kids if they don’t eat tomatoes, the tomatoes will eat them. That should get me a Mom of the Year award this year. Thanks, Jeff Strand!
Bishop: Man vs Monster
Candace Nola & M Ennenbach
This is the literary mash up we needed and didn’t even know! Let’s just get into it.
Troy, Bishop, and Casey are back again this time hunting down bad guys and monsters. When a threat from the days of yore re-animates, things get messy. Can the trio stop the blood shed or will they be the next victims?
Holy Toledo in a cheese and bean burrito, friends have these two got a banger on their hands. (In their hands? Anyway…) How this works is so surprising. They mix a werebear, with classic literary characters, a character from a previous novel of Ennenbach’s, throw in some epistolary shenanigans and blended together is a page turner. The classic literature nerds (like me) will have a field day with this novel.
And the writing is seamless. If you go into BISHOP 2 not knowing the individual writer, you would never know who wrote what and that shows this collaboration is stellar.
Bloody, emotional, and suspenseful, BISHOP 2 gives us everything and a little bit more.
VIOLENCE ON THE MEEK
By Stuart Bray
I’m a tough bitch to crack in this genre. I really am. I can read about snuff films, babies in blenders, people who gangbang roadkill, you name it, I can read it but…
Stuart Bray figured out how to make me walk away from a book not once, not twice, but three times. And that’s what we will be chit chatting about.
Paul ain’t a fan of life. Like at all. And he wants everyone to suffer as much as he does, if not more. And friends, he makes it EVERYONE’S problem. As he finds a kindred soul (?), they double team the carnage.
I think what got me the most, from the beginning, is that Paul was so easy at manipulation. From the way he did it to his dad, Mom, and Franny, it just makes the reader feel ick. And that’s not a word I use often because I don’t typically need to. But… iccccccckkkkkkk. The sexual abuse, absolute degradation of the characters (minus Paul) and oppressive literary atmosphere just cause the reader so much mental discomfort.
Do I recommend this?
By R.J. Benetti
I was lucky to get to beta read this one and I have, on occasion, been told I have recency bias and maybe I do… (it’s kinda true but I will never fully admit it). That aside, this is the strongest work by Benetti to date.
Larry lives in a world not of our own. When it rains, it’s beer. Booze is the only nourishment available. Water is prohibited and laws are strictly enforced. When Larry goes to a bar, a mysterious man shows him salvation. But will it come with a price?
Riddled with Benetti humor and insanity (a wee bit o’ incest), he refuses to take prisoners with this story. The commentary is brazen without being overdone. Alcoholism, the sacrifices we will make for our children, and generational dependency abuse of any kind shows Benetti is more than hamster fucking. (I mean, in his personal life I cannot attest to it but…)
While a short read, it packs a punch so you might want to have that shot ready. 5/5.
Like Porno For Psychos
By Wrath James White
Wrath brings it again with this short story collection that is spicy AND possibly your new kink Bible. Let’s get into it.
Sex and Slaughter (poem) - she is his even in death. <3
Like Peyote for Pimps - God is NOT in a vagina, don’t believe the hype.
Joy - female genital mutilation, revenge, and so much catharsis.
Kids - Jeff just wants to be respected like a real man.
Feeding Time - um… lions… sex… a possible new kink unlocked. (My favorite of the bunch).
Rottweiler - Old pedo babysitters are the worst.
Nothing Better to Do - Torturing animals is like torturing demons… and then you put splinters up your ass.
House Cleaning - sometimes the secrets leave nasty stains.
Fatter - this one is just sad. Get ready to be uncomfortable.
The Strange Lusts of Hypocrites - Politicians are all the same.
After the Cure - would you take a miracle drug without knowing the side effects?
Make Love to Me (poem) - the perfect ending to this collection.
LPfP has something for everyone. And the best part is, there isn’t a bad one in the bunch. That in itself is impressive, not to mention the actual storytelling and well… sex.
Shadow Puppets: Scarecrows of Minnow Ranch
By Carver Pike
Don’t let that title fool you, it should really be titled, “Scarecrow Sluts 87: A Vagina in a Haystack” but I was not consulted before it was published, which is just disappointing.
Dawn and her sister, Daisy, inherit the old family farm when her crazy Mom kicks the proverbial bucket. When a sexy stranger claims to be the caretaker of the farm, shenanigans of the Cinemax after dark variety begin.
I love Carver, have since I began in this community but it wasn’t until recently I started reading him (judge me, I deserve it.) But this one is a banger… in more ways than one. Scarecrows baling hot chicks? How could you NOT love something like this? Sex, gore, and suspense make this one of the hotter smut books out there. And… it’s a short one so no filler, all killer.
The God Of Wanking
By Peter Caffrey
From the reviews this week, I’ve been reading a bunch of smut and THE GOD OF WANKING is no different. Corn, masturbation, and a God, make Caffrey one of my favorites.
Diego is a young man who does what most men do and that’s masturbate. It’s OK, we can talk about it. Now, what most young men don’t do is summon a God with their spilt seed but what do I know? I’m a woman. When the God uses Diego’s seed to impregnate the local old hags, things get a bit messy. Will anyone escape the Corn God?
From beginning to end, this book is pure insanity and I loved every second of it. The characters are hysterical and so well written. Caffrey shines in anything he writes and this one is one of his best.
The Dunbar Effect
By Jason Taverner
If you know me (like at all), you know my love for the slasher duology REINCARNAGE and REINCURSION by Ryan Harding and Jason Taverner. I mean, my love for it goes as far as having a quote permanently inked into my skin. It doesn’t really get more serious than that. So when Jason contacted me with an ARC for his newest novel in the Agent Orange universe, to say I was willing to sacrifice one of my children to AO would not have been far from the truth. Luckily, Jason just sent it to me.
THE DUNBAR EFFECT picks up almost immediately after the ending of REINCARNAGE with the only survivor and what happens next. Look, I know some of the uncool kids haven’t read this so I can’t tell who it is but if you know, you know. Through the novel, the reader goes back and forth in time to interweave characters, storylines, and situations.
OK. So that really doesn’t tell you much but I don’t want to! I want you to go in as blind as possible. I will do a warning, Agent Orange does not make an appearance BUT! We do learn more about the behind the scenes of the Prowlers and the business end of the Kill Zone. Taverner takes his time revealing events and characters to make you savor the time in this universe again.
I can’t get enough of this fictional universe and I never will. At least we can all visit it again in TDE and friends, it’s a wild ass ride from start to finish. And I can’t even talk about all of the Easter Eggs in it and YOU KNOW I am all about the Easter Eggs.
Absolutely recommend this. Plus, it has a love story! So for the freaks like me who love violence and gore with a bit of love sprinkled in, Taverner has us with this novel.
Gone to See the River Man
Triana is a known gent in this community and GONE TO SEE THE RIVER MAN was recommended to me (plus, it’s every gotdamn where on Tiktok) so I figured now is the time to check it out.
Lori has a lady boner for a convicted serial killer, Edmund. Between their correspondence and meeting in person, a love has developed… or maybe more of an obsession. When sent on a task for Edmund, she brings her disabled sister, Abby, along for the adventure. It’s a Triana book so it’s not a fun adventure.
Listening to the audiobook was a wild ride! What Dani George did with the story ranks up there with John Wayne Comunale, RJ Bayley, and Sean Duregger.
As usual, Triana pulls his readers in with such force that we have to go along for the ride and hope we make it out alive … or at least as little torture as possible.
A definite must read if you love Triana. 4/5.
Megan Stockton & Joshua MacMillan
I’m jumping in, so hold on friends.
Jamie and Ronnie are trick or treating like normal kids do when they are stalked by The Other and it’s vessel. When a night of fun and teenage shenanigans end in a bloodbath of epic proportions, there won’t be many spared.
This novella is INSANE! Just when you think you have it figured out, nope, that’s just whiplash. My love of slashers is growing and this just adds to it. A Halloween vibe for all those Michael Myers loving movie buffs, a wee bit of sex, and a whole lot of blood.
I really hope there is more from these two in the near future because I’m all about this literary tag team. 5/5.
No. No to water. No to small spaces. No to all of it.
Clayton is a fancy pants, smart guy that just happens to be studying some nature nectar in the Mariana Trench. When his brother, Luke, receives an urgent request to join him, he ventures down to the bottom of the sea. What he finds isn’t found in a kid’s science kit and not everyone will survive.
THE DEEP was so uncomfortable from beginning to end. Body horror mixed with psychological breakdowns plus some unreliable narrators… perfection. One HUGE appreciation I have for this novel is that somehow Cutter didn’t use any filler. There was nothing frivolous about the story. He also made me care about a fictional animal… that never happens. So bonus points awarded. 5/5.
By Harvey Basterd & Candle Phillips
Let’s just get into this one so grab that rosary and join me.
Maelstorm by Harvey Bastard begins with Sister Mary helping a possessed nineteen year old girl. Sister Mary tells her story of trials and tribulations to get to where she is now. But things aren’t exactly what they seem for Sister Mary. Some of her past demons refuse to leave and she tries to impart that wisdom to Nancy. Also, there is some anal fisting… so, extra bonus?
Penance by Candle Phillips … this is so gotdamn brutal. Father Cordell has a wee bit of a demon hisself and he enjoys reliving it over and over again. When someone from his past comes back to haunt him, things get… Christ-y. This has some of the most disturbing imagery and I was here for it.
This double whammy of Jesus loving tales is insane. I thought they had set the bar with their last collaboration STRANGE CORRIDORS, well friends, I was wrong. TWISTED SISTERS is even better.
Available 3/27. You want this one, especially if you like revenge, clergy getting fucked up, with a side of Hail Mary.
By Christine Morgan
I have been DYING to talk about this one. Little Miss Christine has been holding out on us and friends, I’m disappointed I waited so long to check this one out. I’m jumping in!
The Witch of Preacher’s Hollow - Salem Witch Trials. Moral: The devil can bang me anytime.
In The Pumpkin Patch - new kink unlocked? Ask me on Halloween.
The Gut-Fuckers - The Norsemen would fuck anything. (Some of the most brutal rape scenes I have ever read.)
Unholy Corruption - Incest, lesbianism, beastility, angel/demon erotica, everyone is banging everyone in this story. (Feels like Victorian erotica.)
Temple of the Bat God - possible sacrifices with a side of Batman like erotica? OK, I needed that in my life and didn’t know it.
Bad Girls Swallow - you think your one night stand was bad? James would beg to differ.
Mythic Lust - the dirty, dirrrrrrrrty behind the story we all needed of the Minotaur and Ariadne.
Christine, I NEEEEEED a follow up to this! It’s not even a want at this point. Pure need. While writing some of the most … Niagara Fall inducing stories, she also shows her phenomenal ability of storytelling. If you like smut and I mean SMMMMMMMMUUUUUTTTTTT this should be your next read.
10/5 you naughty girl
Faces of Beth
By Carver Pike
I will admit something that is shameful, this is my first by Carver Pike. Am I about to binge his backlist? … don’t judge me.
Andrew has a beautiful wife that he loves and adores. Beth has some… baggage. When secrets come out about Beth’s past, will they survive it, literally.
I read this one as a buddy read and the theories were flying! Carver turns a possible unreliable character into the reader questioning themselves. When something was revealed, we had fifteen more theories or questions and it continued until the very last page. What a fucking talent! I can see why this is up for a Splatterpunk Award this year and for damn good reason. You fall in love with these characters (my personal favorite was Olivia) and then have to watch helplessly as events happen.
Absolutely brilliant and such a great start if you want to get into Carver’s works.
5/5 burn books
The Unicorn Killer
By Candace Nola
Frank Franklin is having a midlife crisis… but for serial killers. The killing ain’t fulfilling, as the kids would say. (They can’t because he would kill them but anyway…) When doom scrolling TV channels, he finds what he has been missing and his life takes a turn for the better. He even throws a party! What a guy!
Let me start with this, previous works by Candace I have read are serious, brutal, and raw. This is such a different voice for her and I LOVE IT! It had me cackling from being to end. And Frank loves musicals! I mean, a show tune loving serial killer with a sense of humor and an obsession with the methods of Vlad the Impaler? Please. I’m in without a thought. Also, Arnie was a favorite. He reminded me of Dewey from Scream… (is that right? Someone correct me if I’m wrong.)
Horrific, gory, and dark humor by the confetti meat pocket full, Nola gives us something we didn’t even know we needed, a unicorn killer.
5/5 Lady Marmalades
The Bleak Season
By Lucas Mangum
Lucas, Lucas, Lucas. You never fail me, friend. And this collection is one of the many reasons why. Let’s chat about each story.
Bone Cider - Would you drink the bone cider of a loved one to see them one last time even if that meant reliving their death? This story will hit you in the feels and crying into your own cider.
Danielle’s Last Dance - Moral: boys are the devil. When Erika’s pregnant friend disappears from the school dance with an unknown boy, she goes on a quest for answers and gets more than she bargained for.
The One and Only Part 1, 2, and 3 - Marybeth dies and Mason uses just a weeeee bit of necromancy to try to bring her back but his Dad finds him. Classic Dad. Mangum mixes storylines seamlessly in this three part story and he does it masterfully.
The Bleak Season - a few friends get together and it turns into a trip down memory lane and some haunted shit. Can curses be transferred to others?
Mangum can write anything; short stories like THE BLEAK SEASON, novellas like SAINT SADIST, or even co-author novels such as PANDEMONIUM (with Ryan Harding) and the result is the same….
10/5 I will recommend this man all day long.
400 Days of Oppression
By Wrath James White
Natasha is a naive, overweight white woman who means tall, dark and handsome, Kenyatta. She immediately falls in love. To prove she deserves to marry him, she must go through 400 days of oppression at the hand of her boyfriend. There’s a safe word… but she must scream it with her whole chest to end the experiment. Can she prove herself before he gets tired of the game, or will she be another has been in his life?
This book has the most infuriatingly, monumental sack of human farts for characters and I couldn’t get enough. There were parts in it that I had to calm myself because I became so pissed I wanted to yeet my IPad across the room. But fuck all if it wasn’t a great book. Seriously, one of the better books I have read in a long time. The visceral reactions to the characters, situations, and choices speaks to White’s talent. I know many already know him and his abilities as a writer but holy shit, friends, wowzer. Kenyatta has zero and I mean ZERO redeeming qualities. I think he may be my top villain of all the years I have been reading.
I buddy read 400 DAYS OF OPPRESSION with an amazing group (Wrath included) and emotions were high and on display. Racism is front and center as well as the BDSM culture. (Speaking of which, this one has some steamy scenes that you may get you pregnant. You’ve been warned.)
I can’t recommend 400 DAYS OF OPPRESSION enough. 10/5 stars.
By Ash Ericmore
I have very few fictional crushes; Alex Cole (Ericmore), Von and Greg (Harding), and Bob. I like them sadistic with a splash of dark humor. And friends, Bob will finger gun you into oblivion.
Cunt in a Coffeeshop - Bob starts this tale banging the waitress named Aimar… or Maria, because he’s you know… banging her while looking in a mirror. Anyway… there is a robbery happening and he develops a need to impress these chaps. And um… well… there’s a blender involved.
Baby Fight Club - On a plane ride, Bob meets some weirdo who won’t stop talking about soap. Together they come up with the idea of fighting babies — I mean fighting with babies… as weapons. Ever read about a baby becoming a nunchuck? Read this story.
Instant Gratification Monkey - Bob just wants to get laid. So he sets out to find a lady to sausage and runs into Steve (short for Cassidy) literally. On the run from some bad fellas, Bob does what only a true gentleman would do, he rescues her so she can bang him. Unfortunately, things don’t go exactly as planned.
Each story is absolute insanity. Ericmore can deliver so easily writing characters like this. And every time he will make you cackle while thinking, “I’m going to hell for laughing at this.”
Well, friends, I will see you there. 10/5.
Edited by Rebecca Rowland
I love anthologies. Always have and always will. They are a great way for readers to sample authors and find new favorites. And friends, AMERICAN CANNIBAL rocked my ever-loving socks off.
There are twenty stories so I will only focus on the absolute standouts.
Lost Diary by Candace Nola - suspicion with a side of stew.
Wendigo Dreams by Owl Goingback - Wendi-no. No thank you. Absolute depravity and brutality and I loved it.
And The Window Was Boarded Shut by Elizabeth Masse - Women’s suffrage, you mean women suffering… (That’s a great joke.)
The Hungry Wives of Bleak Street by Gwendolyn Kiste - Wives can only give so much of themselves before it has to end. (Only complaint — I wish it was longer…)
Tender Farm by C.V. Hunt - Never trust naked hippies living in a commune.
Flesh Communion by Holly Rae Garcia - An insider’s look at the Waco siege and some possible revelations.