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  • Writer's pictureChristina Pfeiffer

6-16-24 Christina Critiques

HAPPY SUNDAY, my friends! Have I got an assortment of goodies for you. What do I have? Well, we continue with the dwarf and his sidekick, visit with a doctor up to no good, buy stock in some post-it notes, juggle bodies with a clown, get bloody with necrophilia, and haunted with a ghost story. Sounds amazing, right?


Keep reading to find out which is which. See you next week!


 

ELFSLAYER (Gotrek and Felix #10)

By Nathan Long


When we last left the duo of doom, Felix was passed out drifting down from the Spirit of Gruni and Gotrek was stuck in a tree. Well, Gotrek missed his big fight (and possible death) and has become a gloomy Gus. Have no fear! Felix will get him back on his feet and stomping to his death. Felix’s father sends him on a fool’s quest to obtain a letter that can destroy the Jaeger name. What could possibly stand in their ways? Sea dragons? Dark elves? Sorceresses? Whirlpools? Skaven? The possibilities are endless!


In this installment we really see Gotrek in his elements. Whether engineering or using Dwarfish inventions, Gotrek is front and center. We know he’s not dumb as he can read and speak both Dwarfish and “manling” but we REALLY get to see his true genius. I loved that part. And of course, Felix is right there with him, only two steps behind in figuring everything out. A few previous characters reappear as well as some new ones that we become attached to. 100% more grimy and if you have a fear of water, take heed.


Onward to number 11! 5/5.



 

FORBIDDEN SURGERIES OF THE HIDEOUS DR. DIVINUS

By S. Craig Zahler


Tommy and Leo’s sister is in a coma and is almost kidnapped by John Tribus. Luckily, Leo is a cop but Tommy, well, he’s not always on the up and up. As the reader is thrown back and forward in time, their lives intertwine in terrible and shocking ways. Is anyone safe from Dr. Divinus?


What a weird and oddly wonderful graphic novel. Zahler (remember last week he’s a writer, director, musician AND illustrator?) takes us on a psychedelic journey to and from insanity. There are boobs and penises, sex scenes, and a few animal torture scenes. But it also shows obsession and the way it changes people… literally.


A very interesting book for when family comes over and wants to read something.


A HIGHLY RECOMMEND 5/5.


 

NOTES

By Matthew Vaughn


Everett Bill is not having a good time. Something or someone keeps leaving him progressively more incoherent post-its and he doesn’t understand what is happening. When fighting with the something or someone, he also finds out that there are more. So many more. Can Everitt decipher the messages before it’s too late?


Vaughn ALWAYS gives us grade A stories and this one is no different. Imagine a thriller, whodunnit, but with GULLIVER’S TRAVELS mixed in. It’s Brobdingnagian. (God, I have always wanted to use that in a review!) Stellar as usual.


A HIGHLY RECOMMEND 5/5.


 

MONEY SHOT - THE SMALLS - THIRD OFFENSE: II

By Ash Ericmore


Ben is back and he’s got a whole new act… as a clown. And don’t forget his rabbit, Mr. Puddles. Well, when Daddy calls him and asks for some help retrieving property that seemed to have walked off, Ben gets creative. And bloody. When chainsaw snuff is on the line, you gotta call in Ben.


As usual, Ericmore gives us perfect dark humor, gore, and pure insanity. I mean, Ben takes down a bunch of Scots in kilts, what’s not to love!? And poor, poor Justin. What a dummy. But there was no mention of Jason Statham. I should deduct a star for that, but I will let him see the error of his ways. It’s what the Smalls family would do.


So A HIGHLY RECOMMEND 5/5 * pending Jason Statham jokes come back.


 

TOXIC LOVE

By Kristopher Triana


I don’t know why it takes me so long to read certain books. But for the love of God, why didn’t anyone tell me about the necrophilia?


Mike Ashbrook is a divorced Dad who is down on his luck after being fired from his job after 15 years. When he gets a job with a human body clean-up crew and while it’s not pretty work, it’s honest. Enter sexy Sage and his whole life begins to get a lot more messy and sticky and well, fucked up. Between trying to satisfy Sage and learning that she pushes alllllll the buttons for him, Mike will have to make choices no man should make.


This is sppppppicccccy. Look, I have a thing for books with necrophilia? Was I a grave robber in my past life? Who knows! But what I do know is this book is phenomenal. Between the characters being 99.99% flawed, there is a bit of humanity in them. Even Sage, that villainous vixen. And shout out to Chuck Brugee for his absolutely stellar narration.


A HIGHLY, HIGHLY RECOMMEND 5/5.


 

SHADOW MANOR

By Candace Nola


Is there anything this woman can’t write? I mean, seriously.


Imagine being on a date, the guy being a dick, kicking you out of the car AND not coming back to get you. Also add in it’s dark, raining, and you are in the middle of nowhere. That’s exactly what poor Sinclair is going through in this novella. But that’s not the worst of it. She finds an old Victorian home and well, she’s not the only guest in the house. When she finds the previous owners journal, Sinclair will have to help set decade’s old mistakes right again.


I LOVED this! Between the Dickensian descriptions (don’t let that scare you, it’s needed for the story to truly work) and the emotional attachment the reader develops for all the characters, we are voyeurs of the manor. Haunting it if you will.


SHADOW MANOR will seep into your bones, and you will embrace every bit of it.


A HIGHLY, HIGHLY RECOMMEND 5/5.



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