11-9-25 — Christina Critiques Mainstream Movies

Title: THE BLACKCOAT’S DAUGHTER

Director: Osgood Perkins

Run Time: 1 hour, 33 minutes

Rating: R

Synopsis: A woman comes back to the school from her childhood after she is released from the psychiatric ward. But things from her past will be hard to change.

Pros: The pacing, characters, and the minimalism.

Cons: A bit convoluted in places.

Thoughts: Overall, I was impressed with 99% of it. There are just some parts that are so confusing but I almost feel it was intended to be that way. And if not, you got me, Perkins. Emma Roberts killed (ha) as Joan in this film. While not so much a new twist on demon possession, it was a refreshing take at the after effects.

Star Rating: 8/10

Title: THE CALLER

Director: Matthew Parkhill

Run Time: 1 hour, 32 minutes

Rating: R

Synopsis: A young woman, trying to start a new life after escaping her abusive husband, picks up the phone to a more sinister problem.

Pros: Creepy, unnerving, and 100% unpredictable.

Cons: How much I hated her husband.

Thoughts: Seriously, that guy may be able to act but if I ever see him, he’s gonna catch these hands, the asshole. But seriously, the acting is top notch, the story is stellar, and that old lady makes me not want to ever answer my phone again. (That’s a joke, I don’t answer my phone anyway.) If you want something that will make you regret having a phone, this is the movie for you.

Star Rating: 9.5/10

Title: TRICK

Director: Patrick Lussier

Run Time: 1 hour, 40 minutes

Rating: MA

Synopsis: On Halloween night, years ago, Trick went bananas and killed some of his classmates. The problem is, he got away and now there are killings again. As it haunts one detective, the bodies keep piling up.

Pros: The kills, Mike Denver, and the overall look of the film

Cons: … the ending.

Thoughts: The movie was killer (again, ha) but… the ending. Jesus, talk about a fumble. But you know, it doesn’t make the movie any less enjoyable up to that point and even looking back on it, it’s not the worst ending I’ve ever seen (i.e. anything after the opening scene of THE EMPTY MAN - no, I will NEVER let this go!) It was nice to see Jamie Kennedy again so that was a plus.

Star Rating: 7/10

Title: THE INNOCENTS (1961)

Director: Jack Clayton

Run Time: 1 hour, 40 minutes

Rating: No rating

Synopsis: A beautiful young woman becomes a nanny to two children and begins to think the house is haunted. (Based on the TURN OF THE SCREW by Henry James).

Pros: Everything.

Cons: Nothing.

Thoughts: I LOVED this black and white film. There was something so sinister about the slow unraveling of the story and secrets that the house and the inhabitants held. Deborah Kerr blew me away. Those kids though… no thanks, the creepy little shits. The genuine unnerving reminded me a lot of HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (the good one from 1959).

Star Rating: 9.5/10

Title: PHANTASM

Director: Don Coscarelli

Run Time: 1 hour, 29 minutes

Rating: R

Synopsis: What in the world was this film? … A local cemetery and mausoleum hold more than just bodies, but possibly even a gateway to another world.

Pros: Lady in Lavender’s perky boobs, the amount of bamboozles

Cons: the 70s haircuts and the weird jam session on the porch.

Thoughts: This movie should be watched only on drugs, I gotta be honest. What an odd little piece of cinematic insanity. There were so many witty one-liners (most cringe-worthy but still chuckle inducing) “He’s not going to get all over my ice cream, is he?” There is a lot of questions that had to be answered but overall, it’s a film to have on in the background.

Star Rating: 7/10

Title: THE PROWLER

Director: Joseph Zito

Run Time: 1 hour, 29 minutes

Rating: R

Synopsis: A killer doesn’t like sluts. So there is a bunch of killing horny teenagers.

Pros: The music goes with the movie, the effects are so believable I had to pause the film a few times, and I really loved the clothing.

Cons: The town is full of perverts and the decisions made me fear for the films humanity.

Thoughts: First off, a masked man chasing women… sign me up. But the rest of it is pretty campy and that’s perfectly fine by me. The amount of times the cop and his girlfriend broke into the old man’s house made me question the ethics of that badge holder for sure. And then he gets in a freshly dug grave, in the middle of a killing spree, in the middle of the night… they seem to not do IQ tests at that particular police office. All of that aside, this is impressively fun and full of great kills.

Star Rating: 9/10