7-6-25 — Christina Critiques (The Splatterpunk Nominees)
- Christina Pfeiffer
- 4 days ago
- 3 min read
Happy Sunday! There’s just too much to get into today! I can barely contain myself.
Splatterpunk nominees for BEST NOVELLA
A LIFE OF CRIME
By: Aron Beauregard
Release: 8/2/24
Page count: 103
KU: No Hoopla: Yes
Synopsis: Harvey and his best friend, Donya, survive with each other living on the streets. When a chance to take a life ending amount of LSD presents itself, it will show them things and set their life’s on very different paths.
First line: “I’d have sucked the cashier’s cock for that can of Spam.”
Favorite line: “One question still haunted me: was it me who led a life of crime or a life of crime that led me?”
Thoughts: The premise was brilliant - fate/destiny (explained smartly and with full wit by Shane McKenzie in the foreward). But it just lost steam as the story went on. It became more confusing. Maybe if it was a bit longer some of what was mentioned in the beginning could have been fleshed out more.
Rating: 3.5/5
Other recommendations: YELLOW, THE SLOB
MASTER OF BODIES
By: Robert Essig
Release: 10/1/24
Page count: 107
KU: Yes Hoopla: No
Synopsis: Kipp has a power that he keeps a secret until there is complete and utter trust. When he falls in love with Shannon, could it be she and her daughter, Sienna, are the answer to his want for a family?
First line: “I worked my magic for the first time when I was maybe nine years old.”
Favorite line: “I developed early, but in a different way.”
Thoughts: MASTER OF BODIES gave me whiplash from all of the twists and turns. I thought I had the ending figured out - nope. Essig took THE RESURRECTIONIST (by Wrath James White) and gave it new life (pun 100% intended). My only complaint is the constant reminding of what just happened for the reader.
Rating: 4/5
Other recommendations: BABY FIGHTS, DISCO RICE
LIVING DEATH RACE: BEAUTY AND THE BRAINS
By: John Everson
Release: 7/30/24
Page count: 115
KU: No Hoopla: No
Synopsis: Mira can kick some zombie ass so when Tony all but kidnaps her to be his navigator cross country for a prize, zombies aren’t the only things trying to slow them down.
First line: “The chick was MEAN.”
Favorite line: “Sometimes the smallest pains are the most effective.”
Thoughts: THE WALKING DEAD meets Deathrace 2000 but throw in a bit of THE RUNNING MAN (the movie not the book.) Oh… and there’s necrophilia, so that’s always a bonus with this reviewer. I do wish it was longer as certain parts felt rushed, but that’s always my main complaint with a story I really enjoy.
Rating: 4/5
Other recommendations: VOODOO HEART, THE BLOODSTAINED DOLL
NIPPING THEM IN THE BUD
By: Edward Lee
Release: 6/10/24
Page count: 72
KU: No Hoopla: No
Synopsis: Sharsted has been a mediocre person. Not bad, but not good. When a gift from God (and a certain branch of Heaven) offers him a one way trip to heaven, he takes it but… he will have to get his hands a bit bloody.
First line: Sharsted rarely remembered his dreams, and when he did they were almost never nightmares.”
Favorite line: “He’s just playing Halloween with a bunch of silly butt-munchers.”
Thoughts: OK, this was a blast. The twists and turns are like a rollercoaster at Six Flags. What I love most about Lee is he always adds in tidbits of knowledge (what I assume he is currently rabbit holing). Did you know that General Tso was more than chicken at your favorite Chinese restaurant? … I digress. While one of his tamer novellas, this may be my personal favorite.
Rating: 6/5
Other recommendations: CREEKERS, SUCCUBI
FOR THE BETTER
By: Daniel J. Volpe
Release: 5/10/24
Page count: 141
KU: No Hoopla: No
Synopsis: This “midquel” as Volpe states, is the time between Josef’s killing of the characters from LEFT TO YOU to his passing the albatross to its new, reluctant owner.
First line: “The glow of the cigarette was the only light in the dark room.”
Favorite line: “‘ The mother fucker did it,’ Josef said.”
Thoughts: Volpe forces the reader to see maybe Josef isn’t the best person and must question if he should get a pass on his actions because of what he suffered during the Holocaust. The attempt to face the truth of Josef while believing he isn’t a monster is the genius of this follow-up.
Rating: 4/5
Other recommendations: LEFT TO YOU, TALIA
Comments