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  • Writer's pictureCandace Nola

3/22/2024 The Mort Report reviews Dark Tide 14: F.U.B.B.

Happy Friday! The Mort Report is back with another review for the week.

This week, he reviews Crystal Lake's Dark Tide, vol. 14: HARDCORE HORROR-F.U.B.B.



Hellooooooo, boys and girls!

Are we excited for today?


Okay, okay, quiet down now, if we keep clapping, we’ll never be able to start.


It is my great pleasure to announce our three special guest lecturers for today.


First, he is not just a pretty face, but Mr. Jasper Bark’s specialist subjects he will discuss today will be theology, anatomy and, most importantly, have you filled out your donor card yet? Because your organs can, not only save a life but feed an audience.


Second, she is not just a pretty face, but Miss Candace Nola will take you through the process of vinification on a limited budget, culinary tips in the wild and, of course, movies and special effects.


Finally, he is not just a…well, face, but Mr. Daniel J. Volpe will tell you all about furry orgies, gemology and magic, as well as entomology and the importance of wearing clothes in an insect infested environment.


Now, before we begin, I need you all to hand in your permission slips that had to be signed by your parents that you will not sue us if you get nightmares, develop bad taste or are just fucked in the head in general after today.


Have fun everybody!


5 Stars

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