6-29-25 - Christina Critiques
- Christina Pfeiffer
- 11 hours ago
- 3 min read
It’s that time! Splatterpunk Award season is upon us. So let’s start with the nominations for short stories.
SPLATTERPUNK AWARD NOMINATIONS - SHORT STORY
“The Old College” from FEAR OF CLOWNS
By: Aron Beauregard
Release: 9/17/24
Page count: 23
KU: Yes Hoopla: No
Synopsis: Orion does not ant to sell life insurance like his father, instead he wants to be a clown - as in a circus type clown. When he gets into a very selective clown college, he will be taught the most important lesson - how to make children happy no matter what.
First line: “‘Clown college?” Dale Zimmerman asked.”
Favorite line: “Orson was smiling.”
Thoughts: This one was a miss for me. The kills were gory and well written (even stomach clinching) but it just … there were too many questions left unanswered. Maybe if it is expanded in the future, it will make more sense.
Rating: 3/5
Other recommendations: YELLOW, THE SLOB
“Genital Grinder 2.5” from YA’LL AIN’T RIGHT
By: Ryan Harding
Release: 2/6/24
Page count: 11
KU: No Hoopla: No
Synopsis: Von and Greg are on the road trip of a lifetime. With $1000 and their dicks ready to get wet, their dreams of a lifetime are about to come true.
First line: “Despite the thrilling motive for the road trip, a miasma of melancholy hovers as Von’s truck gobbled the hundred miles between Bartok and Iona.”
Favorite line: “Time for your close-up, Miss Hole.”
Thoughts: I will take zero criticism for any story featuring my book boyfriends. Von and Greg’s characterizations and banter are back as well as their… ingenuity to make their wants become reality. Perfection. No notes.
Rating: 6/5
Other recommendations: GENITAL GRINDER, TRANSCENDENTAL MUTILATION
“Together Forever” from OBITS #6
By: C.V. Hunt
Release: 6/15/24
Page count: 28
KU: No Hoopla: No
**Per the ratings guideline on UDH, I will not be able to rate. I will review on my personal page.”
https://www.obitshorror.com/product/the-obituaries-issue-6-featuring-c-v-hunt-signed-by-four-authors
“Fulfillment” from WHERE DEVILS DANCE
By: Sidney Shiv
Release: 10/1/24
Page count: 37
KU: Yes Hoopla: No
Synopsis: Dan is a new reaper with special privileges and Stuart is his mentor. But one soul goes missing and wouldn’t you know it - hell of all places.
First line: “Mark Goodfellows vision became fuzzy as he lay in his hospice bed.”
Favorite line: “I like a douche in this uniform.”
Thoughts: Al and Bub are hilarious. This short as the perfect length and level of witty insanity. Between all the characters, there’s not a bad one in the bunch. I would love to have more from Dan and Stuart as well as Al and Bub. A quick, fun read.
Rating: 4.5/5
Other recommendations: SHOCKING SOJOURNS
“Baby I’d Die 4 U” from OBITS #6
By: Kristopher Triana
Release: 6/15/24
Page count: 39
KU: No Hoopla: No
Synopsis: Freda introduced her friend group to O-Biz, the boy band. But when obsession and secret messages threaten to rip the group apart only a one-time livestream can bring them all together.
First line: “Freya rolled down her pink sock to reveal the cuts she’s made above her ankle.”
Favorite line: “You were always trying to steal my thunder…”
Thoughts: I liked the brutality of the story but the dialogue at times just didn’t work. (Not the cringe tween lingo - that worked fine.) Also, I chuckled at the book title Easter eggs - clever.
Rating: 3/5
Other recommendations: FULL BRUTAL, BODY ART
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